ok, if your gonna recognize the roadie ben,why dont you give the band slut credit?? you know me Janice,
whos gone to lots of your shows/practices bringing cheer and sometimes chips and soda??? huh huh you besta recognize fool, and who shares a common interest in the torture world!!!
-janice

why is the roadie forgotten eh? sure hes fat...hes white....hes new to FF.....but damnit he deserves some credit...heheh. OSS ALL THE WAY BABY!!!!!!
sincerely,
the forgotten roadie
p.s
MARYLAND SUX PIG BALLS!!!!!!!!!
-the other ben

which band member walks by a bed of flowers and they all die!!!!
LOL LOL LOL (janice)

1. y ArE ChRiStMaS tReEs GrEeN aNd SoMeTiMeS wHiTe........aNd NoT sOmE
oThEr CoLoR LiKe ReD?
2. Y iS sMoKeY ThE BeAr a BeaR?Becuz I diDn"t KnOw ThaT BeaRS WeaR
HaTS...
-Brokluvr220

Dear band idiot ive been reading you questions and answers for
quite some time now and i have a question. On dec 22nd can i
come to your show and kick vanilla ice's ass. -xdarnokx-

Dear band idiot,
If h(x) = 5 sec x + tan x what is the equation of the line
tangent to this line where x = 8.001?
-Vikki

Hey band idiot! When will the milk drinking contest take
place?
-Brad

Hello, i have a series of questions to ask that i'd like to
have
answered:
1.-Is it the toast fairy that takes the bread out of the
toaster and
switches it with bread?If so, who's the dairy fairy and why
does she make
only cheese if she's a dairy fairy..shouldn't she make other
dairy
products?
2.-If a tree falls in the forest and there's noone around ot
hear it,
does it make a sound?
3.-If Peter Piper picked a pack of pickled peppers, where is
the pack of
pickled peppers Peter Piper picked?
4.-To be or not to be?
5.-What would happen if i told the lie detector "I'm lying"?
6.-What's the difference between a living will, and a will to
live?
7.-What's the difference between the word disapprove and
disprove?
8.-Why is that thing that u use to point and click on stuff on
a computer
called a mouse? (When a mouse is a small mammal with a tail)
9.-What does sine qua non mean?

Sincerely yours,
me

Dear Band Idiot:

1. Are Twinkies and Deli Meats considered Health Foods?
2. Do you still have nightmares about shoes?
3. Did you get that new set of water soluble finger paints?
4. You really would not kill Gracie and Fuzzball would you?
Uncle Rey

WHEN WILL THERE BE A FUCKEN TIME WHEN I ASK YOU A QUESTION
YOU WILL NOT HAVE AN ANSWER?
FUCK YOU AND YOU SUK
JaYmZ RioT

WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU START THIS THING WITH THE QUESTIONS
AND STUFF, THIS SO CALLED BAND IDIOT?
WHY? WHY ? WHY?
YOU DUMB FUCK
JaYmZ RioT

I want to know what musical key is the "SeLF RioT" song
"MeNTaL CRiSiS" in?
BANG YOUR HEAD SLASH YOUR WRIST
JaYmZ RioT

WHY IS IT EVERYTIME I GO TO THE BATHROOM WATER ALWAYS HAS TO SPLASH ON MY
ASS?
FUCK YOU AND WIPE MY ASS
JaYmZ RioT (of quiet riot)

Why is that everytime when shit goes wrong I have to Break something?
FUCK YOU IN YOUR FACE
jAyMz rIOt

What exactly is this new part of your site idiot?
-brendan




Dear Band Idiot,
When will you room be clean.
-Mom

well, dear mr. band idiot...there's this food that seems to have me mesmerized, and i want to eat it all the time, so i'd like to know....why does bread taste so good??
-louis

Dear Band IDIOT

I have 3 of questions no one could really answer...


1) which came first the chicken or the egg...no really

2) how many wood did the woodchucker chuck

3) why is louis sitting next to me

form
Candice--ignore really fake e-mail name

why is the guitarist in o.s.s. such a dork...o dear band idiot?
-louis
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Why is cheese better then bread?
-kevin
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Doesn't your mom know that your room hasn't been clean in 4 years? Wow, I can't believe she still bitches like that. Anyway that was funny. Ok, question, are you gay, and is that my fault? Love, Nickki
P.S.-I know the answer...
Also, I am NOT paying you freaks for a stupid tape, gimme one and I'll promote it at school.
-nickki
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Dear Idiot!

ok, first off, why is it that you live so fucking close to me yet i met you
through a friend that lives all the way out in Flushing??
And, Is there a god? If so, can i kick his balls? If not, can i be god?
YouRS TRuLy!
JoRGe RioT
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there's something strange and it don't look good-
who you gunna call?
-michelle
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what is the meaning of life?
-janice
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How many licks does it take to get to the Tootsie Roll center of a Tootsie Pop?
-Vikki
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I'm very impressed with the likes of o.s.s. Thier lyrics are very mature, well written, and have good subjects, a mixture of rage, politics, self awareness, greif and mythology. Their music is a great potent mix of grunge, death metal, blues , hardcore and 80's metal which help deliver their lyrics in a galloping, thunderous groove. live, on stage, they're very energetic and alive. Their guitarist grooves back and forth, axehanded. Their bassist has brought back the 80's "helicopter" headbanging, while the vocalist struts droopily and evily. But what amazed me most is when their original drummer got up and started to sing, while their "other" drummer continiued the galloping onslaught. I hope to here more from them soon -Ben Laffin
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why do we drive on ''parkways'' and park in ''driveways''?
do you know anyone named egg, scrambled, and omellette??????
-janice
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Why does 7-11 have locks on the doors if they're open 24 hours a day, 7 days a week?
Why does Leslie smell like Gefelta Fish?
Have you ever tossed the salad of a large black man named Leonard?
-eric
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Why am i the sexiest person you know??
-janice
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Dear Band Idiot, Why is MindTwist Better than O.S.S.?
-eric
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ok idiot, i got a question...
why won't my pecker grow?!??! i've been waiting and waiting, but it hasn't grown an inch since the 4th grade. puberty sucks...
also, who would win in a fight, O.S.S. or Taint? thanks!
-billy.
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if super glue is soooosssuper and sticks to everything why dont it stick to the bottle???
janice
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hey idiot (literally),
why on your web site, does it say "merchandice" when it's actually spelled "merchandise"? i can't wait to see the answer to this one.
-billy
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hey what's up guys? my question to the idiot is when is Ben getting replaced with Brad??
brad
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Why is my ass asleep??
How long does it take to fall asleep? To wake it up? :) haha
Elizabeth
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whats the square root of your phone number?
eric
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If nothing sticks to tephlon (non stick pans), then how does tephlon stick to the pan?
-ed
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dear band idiot, what is it that makes guyz in a band so hot?
-erin
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why does the band idiot take so long to update the band idiot page
-janice

Well janice you are an important player in OSS so i would like to say thank you and i would also like to ask you to remove the pins from my nuts
-brendan

i must apologize we have a roadie his name is ben he has been to most of our shows he is cool. Are you happy now.
-brendan
P.S. FF is GOD

easy Leslie
-brendan

1.i thought i saw a red christmas tree once but it turned out to be a bathrobe
2.Hey whats wrong with bears wearing hats? When im naked i wear all kinds of hats. Bears are naked so therefore they can wear hats.
-brendan

Yes, yes you can.
-brendan
p.s. you sound sexy have i met you before?

Vikki=nice person
Leslie=smells
louis=?gay?
ben=?
eric=psycho
brendan=idiot
-brendan

Im working on it
-brendan

1. how do you know the dairy fairy is she cheating on me
2. i dont know ill be there when it falls and ill take notes
3. in the grocers isle of you local supermarket
4. to be
5. uuuuuummmmmmm it would blow up
6. Wills dead?!?!? he was such a nice guy
7. there spelt different
8. your finger
9. No hablo ingles
-brendan

1. NO

2. Ide rather not talk about it

3. finger painting is fun

4. of course not....are cats flame retardent?
-brendan

?
-brendan

your sexy can i have your phone number
-brendan

d?
-brendan

"we will let you roam free in the backyard and let nature take its course"
-brendan (of iron maiden)

let my give you some advice, i just recently purchaced black and blue by the backstreet boys i find that it helps to soothe my nerves.
-brendan

Well its a new idea i had to let all our fans (both of them) ask me questions about the band or just life in general.
-brendan

mom i told you not to bother me in front of my bandmates.
-brendan

Well louis i think you have a serious problem that needs medical attention
-brendan
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well id like to start by saying that i love multiple questions so lets get started.





1. the egg (because i said so)


2. Wood chucks dont chuck wood they chew it

3. theres a piece of bread in your pocket
-brendan

Thats an easy ansewr he acts like that so the singer doesnt hit on him.
-brendan
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Actually bread IS better than cheese but louis made me angry so ill say that cheese is 10,000 times beter than bread
-brendan
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Well where to begin where to begin. parts of my room have been clean in the past four years (just never all at once). and second you did not make me gay but you did succeed in making me into a drooling idiot who stays in his room all day thinking about killing cats. well with that said by promoting the demo do you mean that you will do a voodoo curse dance around it.
-brendan (the song Thorns is about you!!!!)
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Well the reason that you never met me is because i spend a lot of time alone (see above question). And there is a god but you cannot kick him in the balls because he doesnt have any. God is a 15 story robot who lives on a plantation in hawaii
-BReNDaN oss
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I think the only people i would call are the big scary guys from TaiNT their intimidating.
-brendan
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Your life will be complete if you buy everything and do everything the guys from O.S.S. say (wink wink)
-brendan
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ummm ill get back to you on that one.
-brendan
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O.....K.....not much of a question but ok.
-brendan
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Just by reading your questions i know now that you are a much wiser person than I!!!!
-brendan
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Thanks for the question eric ill be happy to answer you. 1.) 7-11 has locks on the doors so their employes cant escape (do you really think anyone wants to work there).
2.) What the hell is a Gefelta fish?
3.) No, but ask ben about a certain fat black woman and youll be strangely suprized.
-brendan
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Because you love talking about taking dumps.
-brendan
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Well Fuck head, Mindtwist is better because they practice we do not. we just show up at the club and play.
-brendan
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Im very sorry to say this but i dont have an answer to your question because i was born with a huge penis. now im not kidding this thing is huge. its really big and it has......oh sorry where was i oh yeah and thats how the elephant got its trunk. and TaiNT would win in a fight because brad is big and scary.
-brendan
PS sandy if your reading im very sorry
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Janice.....where do you come up with this stuff? krazy glue doesnt stick to the tube because i said so.
-brendan
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I dont know what your talking about Billy i spelt it right. Are you doing this because my penis is much bigger than yours. Because i know that your a much bigger man than that oh wait your not ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha
-brendan
PS-ha ha ha
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Well Brad the reason why you cant play bass permentally for us is because louis thinks your sexy and it would be awkward.
-brendan
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Well i think your ass fell asleep because it is mad at you, mabey you could have been more sensitive to it. mabey you should have held back on the anal sex. i dont know when it will wake up but when it does you better apologize to it.
-brendan
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1852.53609951
-brendan
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Umm it doesnt stick because a magick fairy sprinkled fairy dust on the pan. and then the factory kills the fairy and drinks its blood.
-brendan
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If you have sex with me ill tell you
-brendan
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Im sorry janice ive been to busy having sex with your mother and father.
-brendan

Expect your questions to be answered within a week of being asked

MAIL THE BAND IDIOT